Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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