I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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