Can Purell be used as lube?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
