thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize