He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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