The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
