You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Green mimosas i think yes
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
