Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
