So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize