Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize