...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
too bad you live with your parents still
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
