Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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