I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
