Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
