hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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