The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
