apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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