I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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