Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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