I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
