I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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