new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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