doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize