I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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