im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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