i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
