It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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