First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
