Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
