That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
