Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
