She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
