Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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