I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
