So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
