he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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