I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
