Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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