She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
