Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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