and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
