Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
