maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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