great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
