Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
