I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
