How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
