I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
