The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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