yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
