I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
