Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
