nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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