It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
