capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
