I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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