i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i think i just lost a toe
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
