it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
