True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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