I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
