so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can I color on your dick again?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
