We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize