I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
