I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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