He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
