my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize