DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
