OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i was born a porn star she said
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
