I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
