Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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