How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize