he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
