My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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