if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We are two peas in an std pod
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
