no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He did a backflip because drugs
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
