he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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