Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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