Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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