Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
