why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
